Why does Corona taste like a burp?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
