That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
