she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
