apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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