Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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