You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
