i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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