Me too!
Please, let me fuck your mom
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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