just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just had sex on a roof
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
