I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
