Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
