is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
