Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
