My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
So. Much. Porn.
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