I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
