Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
