I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
