Nicole vs. Life
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
