All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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