Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
