We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
