I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
