Betty ford says i'm here all night
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
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When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Who died my cat blue again?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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