My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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