tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
