He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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