Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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