sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize