i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
