"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
This is classic penis vs brain.
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