What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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