the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
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