Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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