I faked an abortion last night.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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