When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
