she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
