I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
