i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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