2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
