haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize