I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
