I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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