my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
