dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm bleeding and have questions
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
