He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
