and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
