Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
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Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
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WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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