STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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