my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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