he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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