i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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