Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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