she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
