But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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