she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
