You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize