is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i am craving dick and cupcakes
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
